Be Present

Just another something that passed through my mind at work today.

There is no past. There is no future. There is only the present.

The past is gone, sure we can remember it, hopefully learn from it, but we can not relive it or change it. There is nothing we can do about it.

The future is not guranteed. Sure we can plan, and it is not always a bad thing to do, but there is no set future, too many things can interfere. Making reservations when going out of town is a good idea, but if something happens and you end up going nowhere the reservations were pointless. We can plan all we want but can not know for certain those plans will come about.

So what does that leave us? It leaves us the present. A friend of mine, Kathleen (thank you), has quoted to me several times from Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now... "There is never a moment that is not right now." I am learning to agree with this.

I have had two experiences in my life of absolute presence. I was completely in the moment, thinking of nothing else than my surroundings and the current situation I found myself. I will not go into details on these, it is something I am saving for myself.

I will say this about one of the moments... it surprised me, and did so because it was at a time when I should have been questioning everything. I should have been scared, nervous, embarrassed, and a number of other things, instead I was completely calm and present. I was not worried about things, everything was just as it was with no thoughts of anything else. It was tranquility defined.

To find that moment is not always easy, but when it comes it is something to be held onto. Try it sometime.

Moment

"When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you." - Roy McAvoy - Tin Cup

After reading this quote I got to thinking about what defining moments I have experienced in my life. I have had a few. The moments themselves are unimportant, it is more about my reactions to the situation that need to be examined. When we are put to the test it is either pass or fail, there really isn’t a middle of the road here.

One of my experiences has to deal with a kiss. I have never been one to pick up on signs, specifically signs of flirting, so it would tend to be dangerous to lay a kiss on a girl. What if I am misreading the signs? What if she isn’t really interested in me? What if... what if... what if...

So the situation presented itself and I was put to a decision. The girl I had been talking to all night was sitting at a table when I told her I had to leave. She pouted her lips in an over exaggerated way. Now, my first thought was to kiss her, then I thought some more and more and more and more. "What ifs" started to take hold. Then a crystal clear thought entered my mind "So what if you are wrong, it'll still be worth it" So I kissed her... twice. Was very good. Nothing more ever happened, I had to go and so it remained. Was still good. The defining moment came and I feel I passed. Passing had nothing to do with the fact that she didn’t belt me for kissing her. I passed because I took the moment and was brave enough to take a chance. Even if I had walked out of the bar with a red welt on my cheek it would have been worth it. To know I did not let fear of rejection, embarrassment, or anger stop me. That is passing.

So what moments define you? Pass or fail? Think about it. If you don’t like the answers change your actions the next time. We all have the ability to change, but it takes a little work and a lot of guts sometimes.

Good luck.