Monday, October 25, 2010

Be Present

Just another something that passed through my mind at work today.

There is no past. There is no future. There is only the present.

The past is gone, sure we can remember it, hopefully learn from it, but we can not relive it or change it. There is nothing we can do about it.

The future is not guranteed. Sure we can plan, and it is not always a bad thing to do, but there is no set future, too many things can interfere. Making reservations when going out of town is a good idea, but if something happens and you end up going nowhere the reservations were pointless. We can plan all we want but can not know for certain those plans will come about.

So what does that leave us? It leaves us the present. A friend of mine, Kathleen (thank you), has quoted to me several times from Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now... "There is never a moment that is not right now." I am learning to agree with this.

I have had two experiences in my life of absolute presence. I was completely in the moment, thinking of nothing else than my surroundings and the current situation I found myself. I will not go into details on these, it is something I am saving for myself.

I will say this about one of the moments... it surprised me, and did so because it was at a time when I should have been questioning everything. I should have been scared, nervous, embarrassed, and a number of other things, instead I was completely calm and present. I was not worried about things, everything was just as it was with no thoughts of anything else. It was tranquility defined.

To find that moment is not always easy, but when it comes it is something to be held onto. Try it sometime.

Friday, October 22, 2010


Anger is a true emotion. It is a healthy emotion, as most are. It is in the expression of that anger that problems begin. To say or do things out of anger can lead us to places we do not wish to go, we may lower ourselves to a point where we trade our anger at others for disappointment in ourselves. Sometimes it is best to ignore those who have done something to anger us. Those that have done us wrong have hurt us, but by letting it go we show that we are the stronger of the two.

Letting things go is something I am working on, and will probably have to continue to work on in the future. I am getting better at it but it is an ongoing process.

To put more negativity into the world will do no one any good. Creating an atmosphere of tension or anger keeps it on you, you have to live in the world you create, it can be positive or negative based on your reactions. It is good to express anger, but it must be done in a way that is healthy to you. The person who stimulates the anger is the focus, but any reaction is yours to live with. To be angry with someone for a time and to express it can help, but only in its ability for us to be done with the problem. We express our anger in a good way and we can move on, express it in a bad way and the atmosphere will be permeated with tension. As Marcus Aurelius says in The Meditations "What injures the hive injures the bee."

We have a choice in our reactions. We do not HAVE to respond in any certain way. The strongest of us choose a path of integrity.

Sunday, October 17, 2010


A true friend sees flaws and is willing to look past them, not accepting them as excuses but rather as challenges to be overcome. A true friend spends time and energy making someone better. A true friend is unconditional. A true friend is for life with connections that can not be broken because they offers forgiveness and acceptance in all things.

Saturday, October 16, 2010


It is not what we say that makes the difference it is what we do. Words can have power and meaning, but they gain this power by our actions or lack thereof. To tell someone you will do something and follow through with action will show you to be trustworthy, honest, etc. To make that same promise without action would show you to be the opposite.

You can say anything you want there is nothing to stop you, but something to keep in mind is the weight your words will have and what you do to prove them true or false.

What you say carries with it your emotions and thoughts all on its own. To viciously attack someone with words shows what you are thinking and until you do something to prove otherwise those words will stay.

If you have no intention of proving your words true then it would be best to say nothing at all.

"I say what I mean, and I do what I say." Vincent Hannah - Heat

Thursday, October 14, 2010


Plan everything. Each day is set and all the events and things that need to be done are mapped out ready to go. If things are planned then things will run smoothly and everything will work our perfectly... except they don’t!

I was a planner. Every time I went to do something I had a clear picture in my head of everything I would do and how it all would go. The problem with thinking like that is things do not go as planned. I was constantly being disappointed. No matter how much planning unforeseen events always can occur. People do not always react the way you think they will, events do not always go as scheduled, and nature does have a way of interfering and you know what... that is ok. It is.

Imagine never having a surprise. Never having that unknown feeling in your gut about what is going to happen next, never having an adventure. Sad.

I am a fan of information. Knowing is better than not knowing when it comes to things like not feeling well, why my car won't start, and other such things. But always knowing what is going to happen and how things are going to pan out makes for quite a boring time.

As Lauren Bacall said in an interview "The planned life is a dead one."

I have learned in the past few years to embrace a sense of adventure in not planning. I find myself in situations where I would not have been had my days continued to be planned, and my life has been better for it. It makes me cringe to think about the things I would have been missing. There have been downs to go along with the ups, but the adventures continue to be worth it all.

The bottom line is we do not always know how things will work out and so to try and plan them all is pointless. Instead why not just enjoy where the little steps in life take us?


"When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you." - Roy McAvoy - Tin Cup

After reading this quote I got to thinking about what defining moments I have experienced in my life. I have had a few. The moments themselves are unimportant, it is more about my reactions to the situation that need to be examined. When we are put to the test it is either pass or fail, there really isn’t a middle of the road here.

One of my experiences has to deal with a kiss. I have never been one to pick up on signs, specifically signs of flirting, so it would tend to be dangerous to lay a kiss on a girl. What if I am misreading the signs? What if she isn’t really interested in me? What if... what if... what if...

So the situation presented itself and I was put to a decision. The girl I had been talking to all night was sitting at a table when I told her I had to leave. She pouted her lips in an over exaggerated way. Now, my first thought was to kiss her, then I thought some more and more and more and more. "What ifs" started to take hold. Then a crystal clear thought entered my mind "So what if you are wrong, it'll still be worth it" So I kissed her... twice. Was very good. Nothing more ever happened, I had to go and so it remained. Was still good. The defining moment came and I feel I passed. Passing had nothing to do with the fact that she didn’t belt me for kissing her. I passed because I took the moment and was brave enough to take a chance. Even if I had walked out of the bar with a red welt on my cheek it would have been worth it. To know I did not let fear of rejection, embarrassment, or anger stop me. That is passing.

So what moments define you? Pass or fail? Think about it. If you don’t like the answers change your actions the next time. We all have the ability to change, but it takes a little work and a lot of guts sometimes.

Good luck.


In True at First Light Ernest Hemingway says "...we had come to the point where we both regretted things we had not done rather than those we had..." How true that statement is.

It is not that we should try everything that comes along regardless of consequences, but rather we should determine if those consequences are indeed that dire or important. Embarrassment? Possible injury? Objections from others? At what point do these things matter and at what point do we ignore them for the opportunity at something great?

The fear of rejection at telling someone "I love you" may be strong enough to seal our lips, but should it? What is in that rejection that causes us to lose out on an opportunity for the greatest thing in the world? It is a chance, failure may be in the cards, but it is worth the risk. Imagine spending the rest of your life wondering "what if". A rejection for a moment, or a lifetime of questions. Regret is the hardest of all things to live with.

I vaguely remember my past mistakes and kiss offs. They are there, but mostly forgotten and unimportant. My regrets on the other hand haunt me in my dreams. To think of what could have been had I only had a moment of courage. To speak my mind without compromise could have been the greatest thing. Instead I am destined to repeat the silence of my tongue nightly as I try and sleep.

Think about it.

The Name

To start with I suppose I should explain the name of this blog. Well, I work in a room that has white walls, a white ceiling, and white floors. On top of all that it also has 30 flourescent lights in the ceiling. It is bright and white and has a tendency to make the occupants a little off tilt. My brother calls it The White Room, after the Eric Clapton song. It seems to fit.

To add to my insanity I work by mself. I like it, but it tends to give a person a lot of time to think, especially in a job that does not require a temendous amount of brain activity. So I think, and most of what I type here will be thoughts that originated at work. I cant say that they will all be good, agreeable, or coherent... but it should be a lot of fun.